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Random and (maybe) useful facts and myths about scorpions

Here's a collections of potential useful and not-so-useful information on scorpions. Even if you aren't travelling anywhere exotic this summer, at least you'll have some good conversation topics. Not conversation starters though, using scorpions as an ice breaker is never a good idea!

If you have been stung by a scorpion...

... go seek medical help now. Don't waste time reading a useless article on the bloody internet, looking for symptoms. Stay calm and call an ambulance.

Never trust a wounded soldier

Many a dead/squashed/gonzo scorpion has been known to all of a sudden show signs of life and go in for the sting. My advice, stay well clear. Just remind yourself of every horror movie that you have ever watched, and how the monster always tends to come back to life at the end for one more scene.

Scorpions are not fussed about radiation

Apparently scorpions survived the radiation resulting from French nuclear tests. This is more a myth than a fact. Still, it is a myth worth remembering. If you have a peace of land infested with the little buggers, remember that nuking it might not solve your problem. Although I guess if you are willing to nuke your own land you have pretty much lost the plot anyway.

Scorpions are cannibals

While scorpions have maternal instincts, mothers will still sometimes eat their young (whether on purpose or accidentally no one knows, they are always too moody for interviews...). Of course since they eat their own flesh and blood they don't see anything wrong with eating other scorpions. Mostly the big ones attack and eat the small ones, but during scorpion credit crunches some small ones have been known to take on the big ones.

What to do if scorpions have moved into your house

Sell it. If possible to someone without a soul. Because scorpions are really tough to get rid of. As mentioned above they don't even mind a bit of radiation. Don't even bother with pesticides, they'd probably sit back and chat among each other how pesticides are good for their circulation...

Beware of nappy wearing scorpions

Young scorpions are the most aggressive of the species. I guess being a scorpion is a bit like the last Clint Eastwood western Unforgiven where he has a youngster with him who constantly claims how gooder killer he is. The young guy is really out to prove himself. Clint Eastwood on the other hand is the old experienced scorpion, and at the end he stings a bar full of bad guys, and one nasty sheriff. I bet scorpions would like westerns.

Do they have 20/20 vision?

You'd think a creature with 6 to 12 eyes would be pretty much covered visually. Not the case. Scorpions have pretty poor eyesight. They make up for it however with their sensory hairs and slit organs that they have on their legs, pedipalps and body, which pick up vibrations and smell. My guess is though you might be able to stick your tongue out at them (from a distance) and get away with it.

What is the best way to catch a scorpion?

When an ultraviolet light is shined upon them they go fluorescent. This is how scientists track them down in the wild. Also a good way to make sure you have not lost any if you keep them as pets.

Never date a scorpioness

Think you have relationship problems? Male scorpions general end up as a snack after hooking up with a female. The whole scorpion mating ritual is a kind of dance, followed by a battle. And because the females are usually bigger, the males tend to end up as lunch.

So how can they be stopped

Rumour has it that they do not like Kryptonite or Amy Winehouse. However, this could merely be a myth. More research is needed.

Do all types of scorpions carry poison deadly to humans?

No. Some it seems aren't too bothered by us. Only 25 out the 1500 known species of scorpions carry venom poisonous to humans. On a serious note, in Mexico scorpions do kill over 1000 people each year. Kind of puts swine flu into perspective.

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